by Shannon | Mar 8, 2020 | Life
A good girl. I used to be one. Didn’t talk back. Didn’t brag. Didn’t fart into my hand and throw it like a grenade. Never wanted to look needy. Or burdensome. Or like I gargled semen for breakfast. Said sorry too much. Said no not enough. Said help me never, not ever....
by Shannon | Jan 29, 2020 | Life
When I was younger, I never relied on a sense of style: I relied on gravity-defying titties and a belly that hadn’t birthed children the size of warthogs. But now? Well, now I want to express myself with more than taut skin. I want to say something with my clothes....
by Shannon | Jan 14, 2020 | Life
‘If you don’t like Shannon’s hilarious writing and delicious simple food, then I really don’t know why you’re holding a book that’s all about delicious simple food written in Shannon’s truly hilarious way. How embarrassing for you.’ Hamish Blake, TV and...
by Shannon | Jan 14, 2020 | Life
Keto. Paleo. Plant-based. Clean-eating. Low-carb. Juice Cleanses. Chocolate & Cocaine. Atkins. 5:2. Shakes. Alkaline Diet. Whole30. Sigh. What the fuck? It seems like food and diets go hand in hand these days, and it’s fucking annoying. Nutrition experts often get...
by Shannon | Jan 14, 2020 | Life
I’m a former nurse so I understand the role that food plays in our health. You can’t barge through life eating a kilo of Skittles a day and expect to thrive, just the same way you can’t suck a thousand dicks in a month and expect not to get a viral facial sore: the...
by Shannon | Jan 14, 2020 | Life
If you’d rather be entered by a Subway sandwich than by your partner you’re not alone — lots of couples root less after having children. Sometimes it’s because you’re knackered and don’t have the time; sometimes it’s because...
