My Popular Chicken Satay

My Popular Chicken Satay

‘You can, ah… you can give it a little rub if you like,’ said the dear, weak old man mid bed-bath. He was my patient, I was his nurse. He was talking about his dick, which I was about to wash. I don’t know why old men delude themselves into thinking young nurses have...

Jaffa Zero-Cheese Cheesecake

Jaffa Zero-Cheese Cheesecake

This cheesecake leaves me reminiscing over mine and Mr Shannon’s engagement. The fucker had planned it beautifully. We were holidaying on a gorgeous island, he had a vintage ring, he had champagne, and had arranged for a helicopter ride to a white, sandy beach. But...

Peanut Butter Lactation Balls

Peanut Butter Lactation Balls

There was a time when I viewed my breasts like a set of earrings: they came in a pair, they were decorative and they stayed where I put them. But then I had children and they became a fully functional apparatus, and their role as ornaments became only a side-gig,...

Loving these recipes? then check out the books!


Nutritious food makes you feel awesome but it can taste like penis. In Shannon’s Kitchen, Shannon Kelly White reveals 60 easy-to-follow recipes for healthy food you’ll actually f**king eat.

Her follow-up cookbook, Shannon Does Dinner (coming March 2020) features 6 weeks of go-to meals and is like no book you’ve ever seen before with its crazy photos and funny stories.

If you’ve had a gutful of diets, detoxes and perfect clean eating types, then these hilarious books are for you — there’s no preachy nonsense or etiquette, just ridiculous tales, tasty food, inappropriate language and zero f**ks given.



 Coming March 2020.

A cookbook like never before.

6 weeks of go-to meals for those with nary a f**k to give.

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Instagram doesn’t have to be full of self-important wankbags. Mine is a place of fun, food, happiness, dogs, ridiculousness, silly shit and general fuckery.

No dickheads allowed.





Shannon's Bathroom Window