YELLOW LENTIL SOUP
A few years ago, Mr Shannon had to go to Dubai for work. A friend came to visit while he was gone and she said, ‘Wow! Dubai! That’s the land of luxury! I wonder what present he’ll bring you home?’ Oh yeahhhhhhh, I thought excitedly. I imagined him trotting through the front door with a gorgeous handbag or maybe even a sparkly bracelet. A ruby ring perhaps? But no. He didn’t bring diamonds. He didn’t bring gold. He didn’t even bring duty-free alcohol. The prick brought me home a fucking camel mug. It took all of my self-control not to smash it on the bench and shank him with it! Luckily for Mr Shannon I managed to calm myself with food — a much better alternative to manslaughter. So if you ever need soothing, I’m here for you: try this easy, comforting, tasty as fuck dinner and think to yourself, ‘It could be worse. I could’ve been given a camel mug.’
Ingredients: Serves 4
1 tablespoon butter (or ghee or extra virgin olive oil)
1 onion, chopped
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 knob ginger, minced
1½ teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon turmeric
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
1 red chilli, chopped
1 x 400 g can diced tomatoes
1 cup (200 g) dried yellow lentils, rinsed and drained
4 cups (1L) stock (veggie if for vegetarians or chicken if not)
½ cup coriander leaves, chopped
Juice of half a lemon
4 tablespoons crème fraîche (this ain’t optional. It’s bloody essential for deliciousness). If you want to be a skinny cunt I guess you can swap it for Greek yoghurt
Coriander leaves for pizzaz
Mint leaves to show off
Bread for an exquisite dipping experience
- Heat a biggish fucker of a saucepan over medium heat and add the butter/oil. When that’s hot to trot, pop in the onions. Gently fry them for about 5 minutes. Then add the garlic, ginger, cumin, turmeric, cinnamon and chilli and let that cook for about 1 minute, until it smells bloody grouse.
- Add in the tomatoes, lentils and stock and give it all a good stir, then turn the heat up to bring it to a boil. Cover with a lid and turn the heat down to low–medium and let that simmer for 20–25 minutes (until the lentils are tender little champs).
- Take it off the heat and bung in the coriander and lemon juice. Give it a wee season with salt and pepper for good measure.
- Serve it up in bowls with an almighty dollop of crème fraîche and a sprinkle of coriander and mint leaves. It would be prudent to also have a side of bread to dip in that motherfucker.
- Taste the soup, then look to the heavens and declare, ‘Lord almighty, how did Shannon make lentils so tasty!? Answer me!’
P.S. I know this meal looks as though it’s already been digested once, but please give it a chance, it’s fucking delicious.
P.P.S. This recipe is from Shannon Does Dinner: 6 weeks of go-to meals for those with nary a fuck to give.