So, what we have here is pretty much butter and sugar which is why it tastes so goddamn excellent. There’s a time and a place to pull our dicks about nutritious foods but baking brownies is not that time. I was once health focused enough to try a famous blogger’s sweet potato brownies and they tasted not entirely dissimilar to anus. As I chomped into that sticky square of sadness, my lip curled up in shock and horror (the same way it did when I first tasted semen), and I promised myself I would never disgrace the brownie name again. And I haven’t. These Easy As Fuck Brownies are indulgent—if you eat too many of course you’ll end up with thigh chafe and a gallstone—but as a little treat every now and then, well… get balls deep in them, they’re lovely.
- 125g butter, melted
- 125g dark chocolate, melted
- 1 cup almond meal
- 1/4 cup cocoa (or cacao)
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 3/4 cup brown sugar (or you can use 1/2 cup maple syrup if that tickles your fancy)
- 3 eggs, lightly whisked
- Preheat your oven to 170C.
- Stir the melted butter and chocolate together. While they’re still warm and gooey, chuck the rest of the ingredients in and give it all a stir until it’s combined.
- Pour batter into a buttered and lined 20cm x 20cm slice tin.
- Bake for around 30-40 minutes. You’ll know it’s cooked when it’s slightly cracked on the top and if you insert a skewer that fucker comes out clean as a whistle.
- Sadly, you have to cool this giant delicious tin of excellence completely before slicing. My thoughts are prayers are with you while you wait.
- Once cool, slice it up into tasty little squares and store in the fridge. Be prepared for unexpected erections on tasting (nipple, clitoral and penile – the brownies do not discriminate).